I'm just curious, how do you know if your depression is normal or at a level that requires professional help? I have been feeling very depressed and anxious ever since my boyfriend broke up with me a little over a month ago, which I know is a normal reaction to that type of event. I feel like I should be feeling better though, but I am getting worse I think. Does anyone know of any good websites with information on this topic? Also, how does one find a mental health professional in their area? I have never been to a pyschiatrist or a psychologist and I am a little embarassed about the whole thing. What exactly goes on during your time with them? I mean do you really lie on a couch and all that? Sorry so many questions. TIA for the help.

When I want to look up medical stuff, I go to webmd.com. Your regular doctor could diagnose your depression and recommend a course of treatment. They can even recommend a counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist. I go and see a counselor for my depression. A counselor is certified to treat patients thru cognitive or talk therapy. I believe psychologist do the same thing. And then of course, a psychiatrist is able to prescribe medications. For your situation, I would think a counselor would be fine.

For your first session with whoever you see, they will ask you why you are depressed, if you've had any previous treatments, and if you're on medications. They'll also ask you what you hope to accomplish with therapy. (At least, that's what my counselor asked me during our first session.) After that, you just sit there and talk. They will interpret what you're saying and try and help you clarify or deal with your emotions. My counselor and I sit and face each other during our sessions. I usually take a drink with me. I start out by discussing whatever is bothering me that week. She helps me to see things differently or puts things into perspective and usually I have a "goal" for the week depending on what we discussed. For this week, my goal is to call and close 3 of my credit card accounts since my long term goal is to get my depression spending under control, be debt free, and STAY debt free. We tend to focus more on my financial situation because that's a big part of my depression. What you end up discussing will depend on why you're in therapy.

If you are in college, your school should have mental health resources available free of charge.

Really, the first thing I would do is make an appointment with your regular doctor and go from there. Good luck!

Michelle

Feeling bad a month after a break-up is not unusual. I dated my ex for a year and a half, and it took me a full year to get over him. Not to freak you out, because it does get better, but there are no quick cures. Let your emotions run their course. That said, I always had good times and bad times after the break-up; sometimes I felt strong and wouldn't miss him at all and sometimes I'd randomly find myself in tears. I had a bad spell five months after we broke up, and another eleven months after we broke up. I thought I was crazy at the time and that my grief was excessive but I realize now I had to go through it to heal.

I've struggled with depression and anxiety all of my life and have been taking anti-depressants since I was 15. I started with Paxil and eventually moved to Zoloft, which works much better for me. When I couldn't get out of bed and felt constantly nervous, my mom took me to the doctor and I got my first prescription. I'm fairly confident that I would not be able to function normally if I didn't take Zoloft.

Anti-depressants can be very helpful and may be something to look into. I feel that my overall quality of life has improved very much since I began taking them.

When my long-term boyfriend and I broke up, it took me 2 years to get over him. The first 3 months were super hard, and I'm sure that I was clinically depressed. If I'd mentioned it to be psychologist, I'm sure he would have recommended I go on anti-depressants, but I didn't want to go on them if I didn't have to. I pulled out of it on my own with time, but I would have used an anti-depressant if I had to. I think it's pretty normal to feel depressed just a month after a breakup though. If I were you, I'd give it a little more time, but of course that's just MHO. Hope you feel better soon! I know how bad this sucks.

Yeah, what you're feeling is normal. Everyone's recovery time is different. I dated a guy for a year and a half. When it was over between us I had that initial feeling where I COULD NOT move. I called out of work for "personal reasons" and i layed on the couch all day. Thankfully that feeling only lasted about a week or two. Then gradually everything got better. That was 8 months ago. You will recover but if you think it's necessary you should see a doctor. Sometimes it could be something more.:)

I recently spoke to my doctor about my depression and anxiety.
Because it's not totally preventing me from living my life he reccomended some sort of talk therapy or counselling over any sort of drug treatments.

It is different for everyone, but it really helps to have a good support group.

*hugs*

I really think that your reaction is quite normal-it has only been a month! It might help to just talk to someone though.

ITA - I think a month is really soon! I heard it takes 1/2 the time of the relationship to truly get over it (ie if you dated a year & a half, give it 9 months) Don't know how accurate that is *but* I would say just try to focus on the things that interest you & you really enjoy right now. Surround yourself w/ friends & just enjoy being single! It took me a while to embrace it, but now I have fun when I go out & enjoy being alone for the most part.

I agree that a month is still really soon and how you're feeling is totally normal, but I'd never discourage someone from seeking out help if they thought it'd benefit them. I sort of wish I had after my last breakup, especially since I felt like I had no one to talk to about it. There's no rule that says you have to be Little Miss Sunshine X amount of days after a breakup, so take your time healing. Go through every emotion. When you've been hurt like you are, it can take a long time to get over it. A month is nothing. I don't say that to bum you out, but to let you know you're normal.

I would probably do what Michelle suggested: contact your regular doctor (or visit the student health care center if you're still enrolled in school) and see what he/she says, and go from there. And above all, don't be embarassed about finding someone to talk to. Our brain is our most complicated organ, and sometimes it takes someone with the know-how to get its thought processes sorted out!

A month isn't long at all. From what I learned, being a Sociology major, that long-term relationships can take a year to eighteen months in recovery time after a break up.

My ex-boyfriend and I dated off and on for two years and I'm still not over it completely. Memories still linger, especially since I'm still using the appliances and purses he got for me. It's hard, but it will make you stronger. Learn from it.

Hm. I agree with the other posters. A month is still a pretty short amount of time.

In terms of the realm of psychology, depression would be considered a disorder to be treated if it significantly impairs your daily life. In your case, however, the depression was triggered by a traumatic event (for you), and it is expected to affect your daily life, at least for a while, as you learn to live and adjust to life without your former boyfriend.

I'm going to step on the opposite side of the opinion here and recommend that you not begin taking medication. I say this only because medication can be really tricky to get off of. That is, it's not always a quick fix, and can start to become something that you rely upon long after your feelings regarding the breakup are over. And it can become expensive.

However, if you were experiencing these feelings of overwhelming anxiety and depression in moments before the breakup, it might be helpful for you to seek medication in that instance. That is, the breakup just furthered problems that were already existing, instead of causing them.

Whatever you decide, I'm sure it would be helpful to talk to a counselor or a psychologist about your feelings. They can recommend activities and strategies you can use to help you channel that negative energy into something more positive.

I don't know what your schedule is like, but have you thought about maybe joining a volunteering organization, a recreational sports team, or some sort of club to get your mind off of him and occupy the time that you used to spend with him?

I think, in dealing with a breakup, immersing yourself in tons of activities, literally overloading yourself in some instances and surrounding yourself with fun activities with friends can do a world of good. What I mean by that is, don't give yourself enough time to dwell on him. Get up and go do these things even if you don't want to, you'll be glad you did! And maybe allow yourself one mention of him when you go out with friends, and no more than that. Have your friends keep you in check, ask them to sort of scold you when you bring him up. These are ways to "trick" your mind into not thinking about it.

That being said, all of these things are easier said than done. I know that much! It's a tough time, and it can creep by. But, I have confidence that you'll come out of it! You seem like a strong and caring person, and I have faith that things will work out for the best.

This may not seem like much, but if you ever feel like talking, feel free to PM or IM me. I know its tough going through a breakup, and I'm struggling with some of same things right now (although a slightly different context). Perhaps we could support each other?

I wish you all the best!

Some people seem to be depressed without realizing it, since they're used to feeling sad all the time. I was one of these people and for many years I assumed it was normal.

Well the thing that made me realize that I truly was depressed was when I hit a point in which I didn't want to live anymore. I felt like I was absolutely worthless, and that everyone would be better off without me. The fear of realizing that I was having such morbid thoughs, sort of opened my eyes, and decide to seek out help.

I went to my primary care physician at the time, and she gave me a written and oral evaluation. Upon determining that I was really extremely depressed, she put me on Paxil, and referred me to a psychiatrist.

It's been about five years since I was diagnosed, and while I'm probably not completely normal right now, at least I'm not completely down in the dumps anymore. :)

I honestly don't wish depression on anybody(it can be Hell), but if a person thinks(or even suspects) that they may be suffering from this, they need to seek help immediately before it keeps eating away at you!