What's the best advice you ever got when it comes to love or relationships?

Mine was from my mom. She told me to watch closely how the guys' family members treat each other. One day, after the newness is over, you will likely be treated the same. If you don't like what you see, you better run.

Who else has great advice to live by???

Damn, wish I figured that one out myself. I guess from observation that if a guy is raised by a single mom there is a good chance he is more in "touch with his feminine side" and notices dirt, mess and garbage that needs to be taken out.

Tips for getting over someone/heartache:
Remember that time is the best healer of all
Distract yourself
DISTANCE YOURSELF. De-friending on facebook seems harsh, but stalking their page every day will only make you hurt more.

Also, unless you have a good reason to say no to a date, then say yes! Give a guy a fair chance before you dismiss them.

Communication is the key. To everything :-p

My mom always told me there is always going to be plenty of good men out there, so don't put up with a a**hole.

Don't live together unless you both know exactly what you want (and when you want it) long term out of the relationship. I have several friends who really want to get married after living together with their bf for 4+ years and the guy isn't interested. I feel bad, but this really should of been discussed before they made the living together commitment.

Don't settle for a mediocre or crummy relationship just because it is comfortable or convenient.

Be okay with being alone.

And I agree, communication is the key!! Don't let things fester.

I never really got any advice. My parents never told me anything. My mom was always very polite to the guys I brought home. Even if she didn't like them she wouldn't say anything until I brought something up. I didn't discuss breakups with her ever. She inquired where a particular guy was cause she hadn't seen him recently. I was like "Oh, we broke up like last month" and she got sympathetic and was like "Oh, well that happens sometimes".

My brother however has great instincts. He never liked any of the guys I dated and got bad vibes off of all of them. His co-worker was neighbors with a guy I dated and he'd give me details. My brother's opinion is very important and he was always right. I just thought he was being annoying an protective but sometimes I think "I should have just dumped the guy right away and saved all this trouble". It's nice having a guy around.

I think I had really unrealistic ideas of dating and relationships cause I didn't get good advice. Like when I was 17 and 18 watching movies like The Notebook(which is a great movie, don't get me wrong) I would sit there and think "I want that, that's how I want my relationship to be". And the idea of growing old together and soul mates would stick in my mind. I would cling onto relationships even though they were doomed from the start cause I thought someway somehow we'd get past it.
Thank God I got past all that and didn't get married or pregnant.

Don't live together unless you both know exactly what you want (and when you want it) long term out of the relationship. I have several friends who really want to get married after living together with their bf for 4+ years and the guy isn't interested. I feel bad, but this really should of been discussed before they made the living together commitment.

This is such good advise! I see so many people move in with some guy and they want to get married but the man says "NO" and there they sit just living together for years and years and then the next thing you know the guy dumps them and they have wasted years just hoping and dreaming of getting married. I think also what's very important is to not waste time(living together or not) with someone that doesn't have the same goals as you do...such as marriage and children etc. You shouldn't try to change someone. If they don't want to get married then so be it but if you move in with them then they have their cake and eat it too and why bother getting married.

HUGE agreement w/ the no living together...from my own experience (2 years) & from seeing friends do this.

Above all though, you really do have to love yourself before you can love someone else completely. Found this to be true waaay too late in the relationship.

The only thing I can think of is to find and love someone who cherishes you, we don't need to settle for anything less.

Trust your gut.

Best advice I have ever been given.

My advice is,
love yourself first.
and just stop looking, love will find you.

When you find the one that loves you unconditionally there will be no doubt.

Don't confuse lust for love.

Adding to the list...

-Realize that there is no such thing as a perfect mate/soul mate, etc. We all have our faults and sooner or later the most perfect someone will disappoint. The important thing is to make sure that the good outweigh the imperfections.

-Sort of related to the above. Don't be so picky that you rule out perfectly nice guys/gals because they didn't fit the ideal in your head. You may be passing up a hidden gem. This comes from watching my friends and from personal experience (my dh was my hidden gem! :) ).

-Be careful not to get caught up in the romance and rush into things. In some cases it works out, but I know a couple of people who were swept away by the "perfect guy" and got married fast...and sadly ending up in divorce within a few months when the excitment died down and they really started to get to know each other. They also didn't plan long term logistics/financial stuff and it was kind of a mess. :( So, romance is nice, but we have to come back to reality before making big decisions. And we need to take the time to really get to know the other person (warts and all).

-Choose your battles. Will arguing solve anything? Would it even matter in the future? Is it worth it? Are you angry about something else and taking it out on your SO? Picking fights constantly over little things will eventually erode a relationship. If you find yourself annoyed, upset, angry or whatever, step back and think about it. If it's worth a discussion, then go ahead. If not, then let it go.

-If you end up arguing and things get heated, it's best sometimes to walk away and cool off for a little while. Nothing ever gets resolved when things get so heated and emotional and someone might say/do something they would regret later. If it's worth discussing, then regroup and try again later when everyone is calmer. Let the other person know you need to calm down first and hope to come to a resolution later after some perspective.

Don't ever go to bed angry.
Treat him (or her) like your most precious possession.

My Mum gave me those tidbits on my wedding day.

The whole "you complete me" theory is just crap. You are whole already! No one is going to "complete" you, just "enhance" you. Too many women think they're missing something when they're not.

Becky - I could not agree more! My friend has a saying that I absolutely love: "You're not my life, just the best thing in it".

Probably the best advice is something I figured out on my own after ended a really bad relationship a few years ago. Being with someone should make you a better person, not worse. If someone makes you jealous, needy and insecure, then they definitely aren't the right person for you.

-Jealousy is not cute.
-Discuss disagreements without ever raising your voice. Raising your voice only makes people defensive and nothing gets resolved. I think I learned that from my parents. It was always a Yell-fest with them.
-Never assume things. Always give people a chance to explain their actions.

The whole "you complete me" theory is just crap. You are whole already! No one is going to "complete" you, just "enhance" you. Too many women think they're missing something when they're not. Agreed!! I think people have to be okay with being alone. They have to love themselves before sincerely and honestly loving someone else. You can't depend on someone else to make you feel valuable.


Being with someone should make you a better person, not worse. If someone makes you jealous, needy and insecure, then they definitely aren't the right person for you. So true!!

I have seen so much in this thread that I agree with :)

* Trust your gut. This above all is my #1 advice
* Talk things out. Don't allow it to dissolve into fighting, nothing constructive comes out of that. Sometimes there is no "right" or "wrong", its just getting the other person to know where you're coming from and to understand. There's that saying, "would you rather be right or be happy?" (Not that I'm saying be a spineless wimp who never stands up for herself, but realize there's more to life than "winning" your fight, and there are battles best left unpicked)

Keep your money in separate accounts. The best advice I've ever gotten. It's never good to fight over money.

The whole "you complete me" theory is just crap. You are whole already! No one is going to "complete" you, just "enhance" you. Too many women think they're missing something when they're not.

Exactly!! Before I met Adam I decided I just wanted the right person... someone that would compliment me, not complete me.

Keep your money in separate accounts. The best advice I've ever gotten. It's never good to fight over money.

Totally, you both need 'no questions asked' money.
I find having one joint account and 2 personal accounts is a nice balance.

Totally, you both need 'no questions asked' money.
I find having one joint account and 2 personal accounts is a nice balance.

That's what my hubby and I have. LOL, there we go again being alike Meagan, even as couples! ;)

Totally, you both need 'no questions asked' money.
I find having one joint account and 2 personal accounts is a nice balance.

That's what DF and I are planning on doing too, it seems like the easiest thing to do (though we currently use different banks, so I don't know where the joint account will be). We're keeping our own credit cards too. I wouldn't be marrying the guy if I didn't trust him with money! :)

I should probably add that my husband works for a bank, so he is definitely good with money! We also have our separate credit cards.

I agree with most everything that's been said already.

Personally, I'd say don't expect someone to change. If you can't deal with how they are, the chances of them changing are slim, so don't waste your time.

That's what DF and I are planning on doing too, it seems like the easiest thing to do (though we currently use different banks, so I don't know where the joint account will be). We're keeping our own credit cards too. I wouldn't be marrying the guy if I didn't trust him with money! :)


We do the separate and joint accounts too. We started our joint account with the money we got as gifts for our wedding. We both have separate credit cards as well.

We do the separate and joint accounts too. We started our joint account with the money we got as gifts for our wedding. We both have separate credit cards as well.

same here, it work really well for us :)